An External Misuse of the Word Faith
Have you ever encountered someone who uses religion to control rather than uplift? If so, you’re not alone. In the summer of 2022, I decided to walk away from a business space I was part of that was no longer serving me. There’s a significant difference between genuine faith that liberates and empowers and religion that’s used as a weapon to shrink, silence, and manipulate. I learned and experienced this firsthand. This is your guide to recognizing it or if you’ve been through something similar, your reminder to trust yourself.
The Plot They Form
What you think is a community often functions more like a social group or club. One where the unspoken agreement is to move together, think together, and in some cases come against someone together.
The word faith and God is used a lot but the only thing really being used is control. And once you understand how the dynamic operates the patterns become easy to spot. These environments don’t happen by accident. They are carefully constructed by someone who feels they need power over others to feel significant. Making others feel small makes them feel good so they can feel bigger in their mind.The plot was always there, you just hadn’t learned to discern it yet.
The Stones They Throw
It starts subtle. A comment directed at you in a group setting just vague enough to deny, mean enough to land but cowardly enough to hide behind. They’ll recruit people in their circle to do their dirty work, showing up and performing, baiting you in ways that seem small but you can tell are completely calculated. A genuine community doesn’t need to gang up on anyone. That is bullying dressed in the language of faith.
And in that group, every single move is designed to get one thing from you. A reaction. They want to see you crack, lose your composure, give them something to use and say about you. And when you don’t give it to them they try harder. They escalate. Because your silence drives them crazy and they don’t know what to do with someone they can’t rattle and is secure in themselves. No one else in that space received what I received. Which means it was never random. It was chosen. Not because I was weak but because I was the one person they could not get a response from or manipulate.
What They Came to Steal
When the subtle provocations don’t work, that’s when the mask slips all the way off. There’s a meeting. Professional, friendly, casual on the surface, that was never really about what they said it was about. You show up thinking it’s one conversation and walk into an ambush you never agreed to. One on one their argument is weak so they bring backup, anything, or anyone with a similar manipulative mindset to attempt to pressure you. The tone is nasty. It’s tense, forceful, completely loaded with agenda. Then come the unsolicited Bible verses. Scripture you never asked for, thrown at you aggressively like weapons designed to make you feel wrong. They threw verses claiming what I do is wrong in the Bible but never once stopped to question what that same Bible says about envy and gossip. I don’t use scripture as a weapon. This type of behavior from those who believe they are more righteous simply exposes the deceit in their heart.
If your relationship with God doesn’t look exactly like theirs it’s automatically invalid. They have no capacity to hold space for any path that differs from their own because this was never really about God or Jesus. And while all of this is happening they have been watching everything you create, everything you say, everything you put into the world. Your words. Your ideas. Your energy. They’ll take it, repackage it and present it as their own without a single credit to your name or the source it came from. Then turn around and use their faith as a moral shield while doing it. They often had a lot to say about narcissism in others, funny how that works. The hypocrisy is breathtaking. If Jesus was with us, he probably would have flipped the table (IFYKYK). I personally do not believe Jesus would appreciate being used as some sort of band aid for people’s shitty behavior.
The Truth They Can’t Outrun
And when they see you walking away? There’s no genuine accountability. Just a performative “I’ll support whatever you do”. That landed with zero sincerity behind it. That’s not growth. That’s someone who realized they lost access to what you carry and can’t find the words to fake it now. The support was never genuine. It was them buying time and maintaining access until the next opportunity presented itself to attempt to take from you.
And still, after all of it, the behavior continues today. The watching. The repurposing. Apparently living unbothered looks interesting from the outside. They do it because this was never about faith. It was never about you being wrong or misguided. It was about them not being able to stand in the presence of someone who is authentic, someone who operates from the heart with no agenda behind it, and not being able to look away from it either.
The moment faith becomes a tool for aggression you’re no longer dealing with someone’s devotion. What I experienced wasn’t someone with faith. It was someone’s unhealed wounds dressed in religious clothing. And that is NOT yours to carry.
True faith never needs a weapon or to be forceful. That’s just ego baptized in entitlement. Your spiritual journey is yours alone. It doesn’t require anyone’s approval or validation. All I know is me and them don’t worship the same God. My God is all loving.
If you’ve experienced anything similar know that walking away was and IS an act of strength, not a sign of weakness. Protecting your peace IS a spiritual practice. Trust your discernment. Trust your path. The one trying to rattle you and put people against you is never the one who holds power. You are. And never let anyone use God and their minions as a reason to make you feel small, bully you, or attempt to manipulate you.
P.S. If you’d like one-on-one support with upgrading spiritually and stepping into your own divine light I have sessions open. You can book here.
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XOXO,
Rubi
