If you’re here you already know I go deep sometimes. What is life, if not exploring the depths of your own soul and those of others? Have you ever been told, just be yourself and people will love you. I’ve been told this and it’s not easy to do when you’ve been through a lot of BS with people.
The truth? I am sometimes scared to be myself. Not in the sense that I start being someone else but in the sense that I can get anxiety when new people want to get to know me, weather that is friends, romantic relationships, or even acquaintances. You can say I have trust issues now. But with that has come the epiphany that I created a lot of this myself.
The times we ignore our intuition the first time around about a place or person and stay around people who are no good for our nervous system, it only creates a want to place walls up in your life. It’s not that these people made you put those walls up, it’s the countless times YOU chose to stick around others that didn’t love you. That only creates worse experiences down the line with those same individuals.
It’s easy to blame others for how you may feel now but the truth is you created it. That’s where accountability comes in of knowing that you feel the way you do because of the choices you made. When we feel that someone doesn’t like us for who we are the first time, it’s not our job to stick around hoping it will change. The first time is always the warning.
If you’ve done anything like this in your past or maybe are realizing you too may currently be around people who don’t really like you for you but pretend to, then I’m here to remind you to choose yourself and learn to be yourself on your own for a bit or to only be around the people who truly do love you for you.
Taking space isn’t isolation, it’s necessary for you to reflect and allow yourself to connect deeper to yourself. When we reflect, that’s when you start to have these epiphanies of how you can start taking accountability. It also helps you with self-trust by knowing that going forward you won’t tolerate the things you use to. That if people test you (because trust that you may be tested), you are able to immediately remove them from your life.
Choose yourself always, even when it’s hard. Be the best person you can be for yourself. Show your inner child she is worthy of love and love from you before anyone else because no one else has the ability to place a value on you but you. You’re so worthy of your own love and love from others. Those who cannot see that simply don’t deserve you and that is okay. You’re not meant for everyone, you’re gifted and unique. You are the best. You’re one of a kind and anyone who truly sees that in you will love you for you.
Do you currently feel that you are completely safe in your nervous system and meeting new people?
If not, here’s a small nervous system tip of what I do now when I know I may be going to a new place or meeting new people.
- I take a deep breath, grab one hand to my heart and the other on my belly and I repeat to myself: “My nervous system is calm and my body feels safe.”
It’s simple but oh so effective!
You can say it out loud or in your head but I find that when you speak it out loud it feels much better. The words literally vibrate through your body.
I hope this sparks something in you to remember who you are, where you come from, and to simply be yourself, even if you’re a little scared/anxious.
Let me know if you try this little exercise! Would love to hear any of your experiences or changes if you choose to incorporate it.
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I hope to see you there so we can all be consistent together with our inner work and growth. 💚
XOXO,
Rubi
